Wait! Can’t we talk about this?

Posted on May 26, 2014 by Daniel Evan Weiss

The universe made a temporary tick toward justice when bulls at the prestigious Las Ventas ring in Madrid gored two matadors and tossed another, forcing organizers to call off the bullfight for the first time in its 35 year history.

If a man wants to face off with a bull, one on one, at full strength, bring it on! Give the guy a sword, even. It's the sticking spears into the bull from a safe distance to weaken it before facing the intrepid torreador that is dirty pool.

Now look for men to develop a bull-acide, to spray on the animals. The torreador will be in less danger administering the coup de grace when he finds his prey lying on his back, legs up in the air.

(Courtesy of Numbers the roach.)

Senators deplore name “Redskins,” demeaning to Native Americans

Posted on May 22, 2014 by Daniel Evan Weiss

Fifty US Senators signed a letter to the commissioner of football urging that the demeaning name "Washington Redskins" be changed. The team should have a name reflecting the dignity of Native Americans. What should it be? No doubt the Senators told the owner to look no further than the reverential spirit of the team's boosters.

Rumors swirl about another offensive team name, the New York Giants. Look for a change to the New York Dimensionally Challenged.

This is the wonderful Andre the Giant (that is, Vertically Independent).

Ah, words!

(Courtesy of Numbers the roach.)

What’s with your antichrist?

Posted on May 21, 2014 by Daniel Evan Weiss

The antichrist is the personification of evil in the Christian world, variously the one who denies Jesus' divinity, and the one who tries to defeat him and make himself godly. A very bad seed indeed!

What does it look like? That has been left to the artists. This is a close-up of a fifteenth century painting of Saint Michael (see entire painting, below), who is making a name for himself by slaying the antichrist.

Note that this evil beast is made for the most part of animals. There is some kind of reptile or serpent coming out of the hair and a bird on the end of the tail. The arms are frog-like. Fish or eels are coming out the ears. All over the front are insect-like beings (they have eight legs, but the painter seems ignorant of the insect/spider thing).

The body itself is not divided into normal segments. It is a series of heads: The thorax is a head, with eyes and a ferocious mouth where the stomach would be. Horses' heads make up the thighs. The groin is another head, its mouth, with jagged teeth, where the vagina would be–surprise, surprise. Note its discreet beard.

Perhaps most interesting are the eyes. The normally-placed eyes are dim, sickly. But the eyes in the thorax and groin are brilliant, glowing. The heart sees, the gonads see, even the thighs see–but not the brain. Overall I count twenty eyes–not including the thousands on each of the insects/spiders.

This is what the painting says to the non-human: Your image of ultimate evil is a menagerie of animals, all of whom have roamed this planet far longer than you have (even the "mythological" ones closely resemble the real). The antichrist has a number of independent minds. And it has eyes everywhere.

In other words, it sees the world as it is, and makes of it what it chooses. No human nonsense, no constraints of any kind. No wonder it is Christianity's worst nighmare!

Here is the Magnificent Michael, all seven feet of him:

(Courtesy of Numbers the roach.)

The fall of the masculine and the doom of the species

Posted on May 14, 2014 by Daniel Evan Weiss

During the recent evolution of Homo sapiens, the attributes considered most desirable in a male have changed a great deal. Physical strength, once essential to producing and protecting a viable child, has given way to status, even if it has been gained by the accident of birth and the daring cowardice of one's underlings.

In North Korea, this is the male exemplar.

This is the ally:

This is the result:

If only this was a joke.

(Courtesy of Numbers the roach.)

Islam saving humans from extinction

Posted on May 11, 2014 by Daniel Evan Weiss

A week ago, Boko Haram, a group of gentlemen striving to turn Nigeria into a sharia state, kidnapped 276 girls from their school. Boko Haram insists that educating women violates the will of Allah. These girls will now be sold as sex slaves or child brides, which is more what the deity had in mind for them.

It is impossible to argue with the fundamental Darwinian logic of Boko Haram. As shown here

educated women bear many few women than do those who remain illiterate. Other religions claim to be guardians of humanity, but men stand by while women render themselves infertile by reading. Islam alone understands that the future of the species can be guaranteed only by female illiteracy and ignorance.

(Courtesy of Numbers the roach.)

Want people to read? Need road-side assistance? Flash your headlights.

Posted on May 8, 2014 by Daniel Evan Weiss

How deeply do humans thirst to share their thoughts about literature? The Outdoor Co-Ed Topless Pulp Fiction Appreciation Society–a real entity, recently celebrated in the media; I could not invent something so degenerate–offers an answer. Young women congregate to bare their souls about books, while baring their breasts. Anyone who suggests that they are drawn together by anything but naked intelligence is sexist.

I don't understand why humans like to show those things off—the way they protrude and hang, as if by a cruel misstep of evolution. But people love to look at them. My question is: if you want to display your tits, can't you just do it? Why do you have to drag books into it? What have they ever done to be so humiliated?

Herein are the scholars. I know you are looking at them so you can guess what books they are reading and what the conference about them was like. Otherwise you'd just be some kind of pervert.